I sit on the side of the gym, I look up at the clouds, the sun pounds its strength on my legs, while the wind blows across my face. The music from my phone does not stop my tears. I close my eyes and tell her how much I miss her.
I think, if only I was there, if only she had not passed away, where would I be in life? She was the catalyst that propelled me to make sure I live each moment. To be present and appreciate what I have around me as nothing is guaranteed, nothing has certainty past the now.
I know I can't go back and change what happened but sometimes I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that I could see her and tell her how much she means to me and how she taught me so much, without even knowing it.
In the present, all I can do is wipe the tears from my cheeks, take a big breath and look to the clouds once more. She would want me to keep moving forward and to keep enjoying the life that I am in.
Until next time...